It's a Sick World

Have you heard the news? I am a settler. It's true. And the best part is, my one year old son is a settler too. On top of the various other dangerous labels that I am subjected to (how about 'Jew' or 'American' or even 'woman'?) I now carry one of the media's most villified and stereotyped names of all. Settler. Let me explain how I discovered that this label is now my identity. That my voice as a mother, daughter, and human is now drowned out simply by my choice of neigborhood.

Friday night a Jewish family slept in their home. Please - as painful as it is - take a minute to think about your own home, your own family, and your own sleepy Friday night routine. The kids fall asleep, you do a few dishes, read a bit of your book, change into pajamas. Maybe you kiss your baby goodnight, but maybe you don't. After all, you'll see her in just a few hours when she wakes and reaches for you. You never imagine that you might not. Palestinian terrorists (and no, I will not call them 'freedom fighters' or 'intruders' or 'suspected militants') breached the neigborhood's security fence, snuck in to a random house in a row of identical houses, and stabbed to death five members of the Jewish family. Ruth, a mother of 6 children, struggled. Udi the father, 11 year old Yoav, 4 year old Elad, and 3 month old Hadas were knifed in their sleep. The newborn's throat was slashed.

What does my precious America have to say about this? What does my beloved country, in which I feel so at home, have to say about this horrific slaughter? Nothing really. I frantically typed "nytimes.com" begging G-d to see a vicious condemnation of this bloody reality. Homepage... nothing. I naively thought 'Is it possible that America doesn't know yet?' I scrolled down, down, down. Why wouldn't it be the feature story? Nothing. I clicked on the "World" button. Yes, shamefully, terrifyingly, it was there, under a headline that utterly betrayed me.
"SUSPECTING PALESTINIANS, ISRAELI MILITARY HUNTS FOR KILLERS OF 5 WEST BANK SETTLERS."

Hm... it seems that the IDF might be terribly mistaken and Palestinians might not be responsible for this... yes, that probably explains why parties of victory and happiness erupted throughout the West Bank and Gaza when these deaths were proudly proclaimed. It might not have been them after all. And here's the very best part about this headline - Ruth, Udi, Yoav, Elad, and even 3 month old Hadas, are "West Bank Settlers." I'm sure 4 year old Elad felt very strongly about his political opinions. It dawned on me, as I sat there in shock, reading this horrible headline over and over, that I'm not a person in this sick political madness. I found a beautiful apartment in a wonderful community. I am not passionately Zionisitic, and I am the first to end conversation if it starts to feel racist or generalizing of Palestinians. But I moved to Efrat, and that makes me, first and foremost, a Settler.

My heart is broken. I can't stop crying and all night I woke up frequently feeling like a close friend or relative had died. I can't accept that human beings can stab children, slit the throats of infants, and hand out candy in the streets for their victory. But even more, I cannot accept that this world will not condemn the murders of these PEOPLE. Not these Settlers. But If Ruth is a Settler, then I will honor her death by saying proudly that I too, am a Settler. I am ashamed of the reaction of the world. I am betrayed by its indifference, its silence, and its inhumanity. As a mother, daughter, sister, (Settler?), I am broken hearted and so so sorry for the Fogel family and their friends.