Bedside Manner = Not Yet Imported to Israel

[WARNING: This post contains details about being a woman... body/pregnancy related things]

Just got back from a doctors appointment and I'm fuming. With my last pregnancy I had a doctor that never made eye contact with me or even faked a smile, and half-way through I switched. Well the new doctor told me that she didn't want to hear me speak English because it was pathetic that three years after making Aliyah I couldn't converse in Hebrew. Eli had to accompany me to my appointments while I, like an idiot, felt like the third party at my own appointment. This time around I decided to go private. I don't want to name names (but if you're pregnant or a woman looking for a Macabi doctor call me so we can talk more specifics), but the private guy just wasn't nice enough for what it costs to go private. Look, I get it, health care is free here, so the doctors aren't being paid well enough to treat their patients like customers. But somehow Canadians and British citizens had pleasant health care experiences, despite the public system. What is it with Israeli doctors?

Ok so I decided a few weeks ago that I need to just adjust to the culture here and it's silly to pay private when there's a free route. So I was off to a doctor in a different building that I hadn't heard of before. My appointment was at 2:30 today. I got to the office a half an hour early, hoping to get in early and be home in time to get Yehuda Or from the baby sitter. No luck. At 3:10 I decided to go get something to eat and come back. At 3:30 my turn came and I entered the room optimistic about a new doctor, despite the long wait.
"Shalom!" I said with a big smile. She glanced up at me. No smile.
"Yes." She said while she continued to type on the computer.
"I'm pregnant, and I was seeing a private doctor, but-"
"Go to the nurse."
"Now? Can I go after our appointment?"
"No. Do not come see me without first going to the nurse. Go and then come back."

After (the VERY sweet and friendly) nurse took my blood pressure and weight I returned to the waiting room for the doctor. A very tired older woman was waiting. I said to her in my broken Hebrew "I'm so sorry, but my appointment was at 2:30 and I had to go see the nurse. But now I have to go back to the doctor. Can I go before you?" She shrugged. I hoped that meant yes. When the door opened I glanced at the older woman with an apologetic look and went in.
"Hi again." I handed her the records from the nurse.
"Do you want to do the genetic testing?" She got right to the point.
"Umm, I don't think so. What do you think?"
"I don't know. You have to decide."
"Ok, no, thanks."
"Do you want to see the baby and hear the heart beat?"
"Yeah, that would be great."
"On the bed."
I made a split second decision to change the paper myself that covered the surface, I could see the dent of the last woman clearly.
Finally - a treat! I got to see the cutest little bean. It was wiggling and kicking and I couldn't help but smile.
"I'm trying to measure the femur but it won't stop moving." She sounded very annoyed, and not at all entertained. I laughed, I couldn't help it! She glared at me and pushed the device a bit harder onto my stomach.
"Is everything normal?"
"This isn't the in depth ultra-sound, I'm not looking for normal. It's appropriate for the age of the pregnancy."
Ok... sheesh....
After the ultrasound she did a basic exam. While doing the exam she stops and says to me "You have milk! Are you breastfeeding?"
"Yes." I said feeling ashamed (for no good reason).
"STILL?" She walked back to her desk and started writing. I found myself stammering about weaning and starting to nurse less. Then I realized, what the heck am I doing justifying myself to this woman? Why should I care what she thinks about me? After a few more pleasant and comforting interactions I left the office and felt like kicking something. How did she manage to make me feel so awful? An ultrasound is so exciting, it should have left me flying high, but the bad taste from the doctor is lingering. I think I just need to make peace with the role that doctors play here. At least for now. I really hope that bedside manner is something that slowly penetrates this culture and becomes a value. I am very grateful for being able to get competent and FULL medical care for free, but I do believe that it's possible for public health care to coincide with nice doctors. At least not bullies! For names and more details, feel free to email me, and if you know of a great OBGYN, please let me know!