Thursday, August 25, 2011

Feelin' Groovy

August 21st was my birthday. It was the first birthday that I didn't open my eyes with that special birthday anticipation. To the contrary, I stumbled into the kitchen at 6:05 to get Yehuda Or his apple juice, changed Coby's poopy diaper, and watched an episode of Barney before I remembered. It wasn't until I looked at the spoil-date on the milk before pouring it into my coffee that I realized "Hey! It's my birthday!"

Eli had a horrible, sleepless night, so I was doing the early shift solo, but as soon as I woke him up he ushered me to go take a shower and get dressed. When I came into the dining room he had made a delicious breakfast and he and Yehuda Or had drawn a beautiful "Happy Birthday Ima" sign. It was a fantastic birthday. But obviously nothing went as planned. We waited at the security checkpoint to get into Jerusalem for over half an hour, parking at Malcha Mall was a nightmare, and the mall was so packed because of summer break that I couldn't hear myself speak, let alone find the headspace to shop. But you know what? We got Yehuda Or a new pair of sneakers, I got two novels that I'm psyched to read, and just being out, the four of us, actually felt like a terrific birthday present. I remember that as a child my mom always wanted to "do something as a family" for her birthday. It didn't really matter what, just as long as we were doing something that didn't involve sitting in front of a screen. She wanted us to be together and interacting. That's exactly what this birthday made me realize - what makes me happy now, in this stage of life, is the simple togetherness of my new, blossoming family. I decided to call the night babysitter and cancel - instead of getting all dressed up and going out somewhere fancy, I just wanted to get in pajamas, order some take-out sushi, and hang out with Eli and my boys.

After a very full day, we put Yehuda Or to sleep (by the way, he goes to sleep COMPLETELY by himself now, in a BED) and I had a moment to think about birthdays past, and how much life has changed. Just three birthdays ago I was engaged, meeting my future in-laws for the first time in Toronto. I was hopelessly in love, optimistic, and couldn’t wait to have children and create a family. By my next birthday I was 5 months pregnant with Yehuda Or. So I’m 24 with two kids. Yeesh, life moves fast. In a good way though. Despite the temper-tantrums and sleep deprivation, I’m a very happy person. I feel productive, I feel satisfied, I feel excited, and most of all, I feel so much love. Yes I get cranky, yes I have off days. But I can’t believe how on top of it I feel seven weeks postpartum. I think after Yehuda Or was born I was in so much shock - I was going through this intense identity change and suddenly I was so responsible for another person. I loved him immensely and yet I was so overwhelmed by the reality of being a mother. I worried so much about every sneeze, every poop. With Coby, the love is easy and uncomplicated. I’ve been there, done that, so now I can just simply enjoy his mushy, chubby cheeks and try my best to hang onto to every moment before it slips away.

My new job (on top of nanny, chef, housecleaner, etc...) is losing the pregnancy weight! Note to self: next time, don’t eat like there’s no tomorrow. Because now it’s tomorrow and I’m dealing with the consequences of a lot of Ben and Jerry’s. Somehow it’s empowering to be on a diet though - I’m eating super healthy food, cooking a ton (so Eli and Yehuda Or are happy as well), and my energy is high. Also, breastfeeding and pushing a double stroller around Efrat is expediting the weight-loss process.

That’s all for now... thanks for reading! Shabbat Shalom!

2 comments:

  1. Leah,
    i loved this piece. Im glad things are well and ur birthday
    Its true about what you said that having a second baby is easier cause u have done it before. " im 24 and i have 2 kids" lol that was cute and i thought there were a few laughs her and there. Its good that u have the perfect family that u want, thats watt i describe it as hehe
    shabbat shalom! looking forward to reading the next piece.

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  2. Wonderful ~ carpe diem, dearest Leah...

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