Yehuda Or is officially one year old. On one hand, I can't believe that already a full year has passed since he came into this world. On the other hand, I feel like he's been in my life forever - who was I before he existed? My identity and my reality is so intertwined with HIM that looking back on life before him is like watching a movie about a different person.
And now I am IMA. He's asleep next to me right now, snoring softly.
He's on the brink of walking these days and the thought of him standing up and walking out the door makes me laugh - it just doesn't feel like it could ever happen. But... that's how I felt before he was sitting, eating solids, teething, and crawling. And then one day, it just happens. One stage is left behind, and he enters a new one. You don't really have time to mourn the last stage, because suddenly the new stage exists, and it's so exciting to see your child grow. But there is something sad about the end, isn't there? I now have a delicious, gorgeous, ridiculously cute toddler (gasp!) and I'm SO happy to watch him become himself. Every day his personality develops a little bit more, and I can't handle how hilarious and clever he is. BUT, there is something bittersweet about saying goodbye to infancy. Lucky for us moms, turning 1 doesn't magically turn our little babies into "big kids." Thank G-d transitions are gradual, and most of the time in the natural evolution of things, nothing is so sudden that you don't have warning. Hashem's pretty smart...
Sorry this post is so short, but a longer one is on the way!
Shabbat Shalom everyone!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
"It gets better every day"
Parenting choices are incredibly personal. People generally feel very passionate about their decisions as a parent, and talking about it can be as touchy as talking about religious observance or politics. It's really a wonderful thing that there are so many different ways to be a good parent - every family is different and every child is an individual. I think that's the main key in navigating through the constant flow of "advice" from other parents. Everyone's different. I try to remember that everyone has wisdom to share, but that I'm also allowed to disagree and to choose "No thank you." Silently to myself of course. No need to start a debate when two people have clearly made up their minds in different directions (unless I'm in an argumentative mood or I feel that it's extremely important to clarify where I'm coming from and why).
Usually as a parent, I feel very "outside of the box." Lately, I've decided that If I'm truly at peace with the parenting style that Eli and I have chosen then I should feel calm, confident, and happy to share my experiences with others. I realized that I had stopped telling people that Yehuda Or spends most of the night in the bed with us, that we've never let him cry himself to sleep, and that he still nurses around 10 times a day. And no, we're not "working on it." The responses are usually something like "Oh! Well. That's. Interesting." It can be daunting and exhausting to try to explain my entire philosophy several times a week. But, you know what? People deserve more credit than I give them. Almost always, when I DO take the time to explain our decisions, people are very open-minded and happy to hear that we've made well-thought out decisions, even if they ARE different.
The closest official style to what we do is called "Attachment Parenting." We definitely don't follow any checklist, but the philosophy is one that we both relate to and believe in. The basic idea is that a child's sense of self-worth, confidence, and trust in the world is dependent upon his/her relationships with primary care-givers (Mom and Dad). It's nothing new - anyone ever heard of Erikson? Or Freud? This style of parenting simply expounds on the importance of those early experiences that have the power to make life-long impacts. In practice "AP" encourages breastfeeding (and not necessarily weaning by age 1), holding and wearing the baby as much as possible, responding to baby's cries as opposed to sleep-training methods that involve crying, having the baby sleep with the mother or close by, and in general, a sort of "go with the flow" attitude towards baby care (for more information go to www.askdrsears.com). It has fit our family and lifestyle perfectly. Yes, I am sometimes jealous of women who pop a pacifier in their baby's mouth and say "night night." Our bedtime routine on average lasts about an hour. But moment to moment I'm proud of my decisions and truly feel like I'm giving Yehuda Or's special neshama all of the love and attention I have. And that manifests itself through my "AP" decisions.
A few months ago, I started posting on various sites, looking to gather a group of AP-style moms in my area. A solid group of awesome women have now been meeting, and it's been so empowering and encouraging to hang out with a bunch of like-minded mothers. At our meeting yesterday I got a boost of confidence and appreciation for being a parent. What a gift it is to be the sole provider for an innocent, helpless little being. While our babies were playing on the floor, one mother said to me "Do you feel like it just gets better every day?" I was so flooded with happiness and recognition. That's exactly what motherhood feels like - an adventure that just gets better every day.
Enjoy the last day of Chanukah everyone ~ sending my blessings to the many people whom I love and miss during this special time.
Usually as a parent, I feel very "outside of the box." Lately, I've decided that If I'm truly at peace with the parenting style that Eli and I have chosen then I should feel calm, confident, and happy to share my experiences with others. I realized that I had stopped telling people that Yehuda Or spends most of the night in the bed with us, that we've never let him cry himself to sleep, and that he still nurses around 10 times a day. And no, we're not "working on it." The responses are usually something like "Oh! Well. That's. Interesting." It can be daunting and exhausting to try to explain my entire philosophy several times a week. But, you know what? People deserve more credit than I give them. Almost always, when I DO take the time to explain our decisions, people are very open-minded and happy to hear that we've made well-thought out decisions, even if they ARE different.
The closest official style to what we do is called "Attachment Parenting." We definitely don't follow any checklist, but the philosophy is one that we both relate to and believe in. The basic idea is that a child's sense of self-worth, confidence, and trust in the world is dependent upon his/her relationships with primary care-givers (Mom and Dad). It's nothing new - anyone ever heard of Erikson? Or Freud? This style of parenting simply expounds on the importance of those early experiences that have the power to make life-long impacts. In practice "AP" encourages breastfeeding (and not necessarily weaning by age 1), holding and wearing the baby as much as possible, responding to baby's cries as opposed to sleep-training methods that involve crying, having the baby sleep with the mother or close by, and in general, a sort of "go with the flow" attitude towards baby care (for more information go to www.askdrsears.com). It has fit our family and lifestyle perfectly. Yes, I am sometimes jealous of women who pop a pacifier in their baby's mouth and say "night night." Our bedtime routine on average lasts about an hour. But moment to moment I'm proud of my decisions and truly feel like I'm giving Yehuda Or's special neshama all of the love and attention I have. And that manifests itself through my "AP" decisions.
A few months ago, I started posting on various sites, looking to gather a group of AP-style moms in my area. A solid group of awesome women have now been meeting, and it's been so empowering and encouraging to hang out with a bunch of like-minded mothers. At our meeting yesterday I got a boost of confidence and appreciation for being a parent. What a gift it is to be the sole provider for an innocent, helpless little being. While our babies were playing on the floor, one mother said to me "Do you feel like it just gets better every day?" I was so flooded with happiness and recognition. That's exactly what motherhood feels like - an adventure that just gets better every day.
Enjoy the last day of Chanukah everyone ~ sending my blessings to the many people whom I love and miss during this special time.
Monday, December 6, 2010
It's Raining!
Finally! This morning I woke up to the gorgeous pitter-patter of rain against the window. The whole country is sighing of relief. I'm still unsure about what this means for the raging fire up north (Carmiel and parts of Haifa have been evacuated and basically destroyed), but I'm praying that this means the end of it. It's also Yehuda Or's Hebrew birthday! I can't believe that 1 (Hebrew) year ago I was hanging out in the recovery ward of Hadassah hospital, holding my sweet baby for the first time! It's unbelievable.
My babysitter who comes four mornings a week while I do schoolwork (still plugging away at my B.A.) takes him to the park every day. Today they were stuck in the living room - the only downside of the rain. There aren't SO many indoor options for young children in Jerusalem. I admit, I have gone to Mamilla just for the indoor mall part to let Yehuda Or crawl around. But store owners and mall shoppers don't seem thrilled about it. Last time I just let him crawl free in the space outside of the Gap and that electronics store. He screeched at the top of his lungs and crawled in circles until his knees were black from dirt. It was great. There's also a library on Bezalel (in the Gerard Behar building). There's a children's floor that has an okay English selection (mostly from before 1980), but there's ample crawling space, and for toddlers and young school-age kids it's a nice to place to go when it's raining (plenty of kid-size tables and chairs). Malcha Mall has a few gymboree areas for babies to play in, but they're usually really dirty and being hogged by 8 year olds with no parents in sight. If anyone else has indoor ideas for a kid that's crawling and cruising but not yet quite walking, let me know!
Chanukah time is always very special here in Israel. There's something cheerful in the air. Yehuda Or absolutely loves fire (think it has anything to do with his name?), so it's been a really fun time for him. He definitely gets excited when we start to prepare the menorah. He has a really cute habit of making a "Woooooow" sound whenever he sees a flame. Or a bright light for that matter. I'm thanking Hashem right now for so many miracles. The first birthday of my son, the blessing of living in Israel, and the gift of rain! Chanukah Semeach and Happy Birthday Yehuda Or!
My babysitter who comes four mornings a week while I do schoolwork (still plugging away at my B.A.) takes him to the park every day. Today they were stuck in the living room - the only downside of the rain. There aren't SO many indoor options for young children in Jerusalem. I admit, I have gone to Mamilla just for the indoor mall part to let Yehuda Or crawl around. But store owners and mall shoppers don't seem thrilled about it. Last time I just let him crawl free in the space outside of the Gap and that electronics store. He screeched at the top of his lungs and crawled in circles until his knees were black from dirt. It was great. There's also a library on Bezalel (in the Gerard Behar building). There's a children's floor that has an okay English selection (mostly from before 1980), but there's ample crawling space, and for toddlers and young school-age kids it's a nice to place to go when it's raining (plenty of kid-size tables and chairs). Malcha Mall has a few gymboree areas for babies to play in, but they're usually really dirty and being hogged by 8 year olds with no parents in sight. If anyone else has indoor ideas for a kid that's crawling and cruising but not yet quite walking, let me know!
Chanukah time is always very special here in Israel. There's something cheerful in the air. Yehuda Or absolutely loves fire (think it has anything to do with his name?), so it's been a really fun time for him. He definitely gets excited when we start to prepare the menorah. He has a really cute habit of making a "Woooooow" sound whenever he sees a flame. Or a bright light for that matter. I'm thanking Hashem right now for so many miracles. The first birthday of my son, the blessing of living in Israel, and the gift of rain! Chanukah Semeach and Happy Birthday Yehuda Or!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
The Playground
I wear crocs. I still have some shirts from 12th grade. And friends would not say I'm known for matching. The problem is - I live in Rechavia. Our main playground is at the bottom of Abarbanel street. I see the playground as a way to get some fresh air, give Yehuda Or some much needed outdoor time, and give him the experience of getting to watch and interact with other babies and kids. So, it's not really about what I'm wearing right? Wrong. Our playground is super high-fashion. The regulars are wearing gorgeous sheitals (wigs), gold jewelry, black heels, and are delicately sipping a cup of coffee from a nearby cafe. It's quite the social scene too. There's a lot of "She said, he said" going on. I always look for the well-dressed child that belongs to the woman chatting away about her latest cleaning-lady fiasco. Usually the kid's fine. Maybe a little bored (or asleep in the swing still being vigorously pushed by an animated mother), but fine. But it has got me thinking. If the playground is The Social Hotspot of a given neighborhood, then what the heck am I doing in Rechavia?
This may sound very American (or just idealistic) of me, but I kind of want a playground where the parents are interacting with their children, and where the wardrobe isn't the main factor in determining if you can get a spot on the bench. Besides, crocs are cool! Maybe not... but my point is that as Yehuda Or continues to grow and become a more social being, I'm starting to analyze more closely the environments I expose him to. Parent-child interaction aside, let's talk about the design of the playgrounds here. Is this a municipal joke? I just don't understand what the kids are expected to DO on these "new, modern" designs. Climb over things and then maybe under things, and then jump up and down on the semi-bouncy tar material on the ground? What happened to monkey bars and climbing ropes, spinning metal steering wheels, winding slides, and swings that don't have 2 foot high limits? It seems strange to me that a country that is SO child-based hasn't figured out the engineering in a fun, safe, and practical park. So here's to a playground that has a sun canopy (not one with random holes in it that exposes my son's burn-prone skin), to a playground that has seating for parents that actually allows one to SEE their child at play, to a playground that has activities and jungle-gyms that actually look appealing, and to a playground that hasn't become a kitty litter box.
Lately I've decided to embrace my "shlumpy"-ness and just focus on Yehuda Or at the playground. That's the point right...?
Chanukah Sameach everyone!
This may sound very American (or just idealistic) of me, but I kind of want a playground where the parents are interacting with their children, and where the wardrobe isn't the main factor in determining if you can get a spot on the bench. Besides, crocs are cool! Maybe not... but my point is that as Yehuda Or continues to grow and become a more social being, I'm starting to analyze more closely the environments I expose him to. Parent-child interaction aside, let's talk about the design of the playgrounds here. Is this a municipal joke? I just don't understand what the kids are expected to DO on these "new, modern" designs. Climb over things and then maybe under things, and then jump up and down on the semi-bouncy tar material on the ground? What happened to monkey bars and climbing ropes, spinning metal steering wheels, winding slides, and swings that don't have 2 foot high limits? It seems strange to me that a country that is SO child-based hasn't figured out the engineering in a fun, safe, and practical park. So here's to a playground that has a sun canopy (not one with random holes in it that exposes my son's burn-prone skin), to a playground that has seating for parents that actually allows one to SEE their child at play, to a playground that has activities and jungle-gyms that actually look appealing, and to a playground that hasn't become a kitty litter box.
Lately I've decided to embrace my "shlumpy"-ness and just focus on Yehuda Or at the playground. That's the point right...?
Chanukah Sameach everyone!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
To Blog or Not To Blog
My need for an online voice began when I was pregnant with my son. Yes, I had been a facebook user since high school, but as I began to go through a uniquely personal and transformative process, I found that the online forums and communities were the perfect place for a grumpy, nauseas, worried, excited, anxious, ecstatic pregnant woman. I was able to share my fears and wishes with thousands of other women who were due the same month as me, and through these forums I found support and information that has helped me develop my identity as a mother.
One pretty big thing was missing however - people that I could relate to geographically and therefore culturally. No matter how American I may be (and I'm told often that I'm "SO American"), I do live in Israel and my reality is very much Israeli. So I'm on a quest to experience my American motherhood in Israel in a way that others might find relatable, and at least entertaining. I have big dreams of directories and forums for those of us here in Israel, and I hope that one day those dreams can be realized. But for now, why not start sharing the experiences on a smaller scale? So, I have decided TO BLOG. I can't promise it's going to be riveting, but I can promise to be honest, and to try to be helpful.
Looking forward to having you all join me on this Blogging Journey!
One pretty big thing was missing however - people that I could relate to geographically and therefore culturally. No matter how American I may be (and I'm told often that I'm "SO American"), I do live in Israel and my reality is very much Israeli. So I'm on a quest to experience my American motherhood in Israel in a way that others might find relatable, and at least entertaining. I have big dreams of directories and forums for those of us here in Israel, and I hope that one day those dreams can be realized. But for now, why not start sharing the experiences on a smaller scale? So, I have decided TO BLOG. I can't promise it's going to be riveting, but I can promise to be honest, and to try to be helpful.
Looking forward to having you all join me on this Blogging Journey!
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